I Lost $20 and Other Updates

My life has been so crazy lately. I am getting ready to leave on a work trip and I keep thinking to myself, “How do working moms do this on a regular basis?????” I only leave my kids twice a year for work, once to go with the 7th grade to camp for two days and once to go to Washington DC with my 8th grade class for four days. If I had to do this more often I guess I just would, it’s all perspective, I guess.

In the process of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I lost twenty bucks. Anyone who knows me knows that I am so super cheap that this is making me CRAZY! I need to find that money. URGENTLY

Anyway, it has been a struggle trying to get everything accomplished in a matter of 24 hours. I have so many things spinning through my head, so many lists made, so many shopping trips to take…it is overwhelming. When I hope on the plane on Friday I know I am going to be exhausted, but also excited for the opportunity to get the see DC through the eyes of my students. I love this trip. I love our nation’s capital. I am ready to see it again!

On the fitness/weight loss front I cannot even begin to explain how frustrated I am. It has been five long months of dieting and exercising and I have seen very little results. I even went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago to get everything checked out. Unfortunately (fortunately) I am the healthiest fat person I know. All of my numbers look great (except for the weight on the scale) and there is not much he can do for me. I am going to seek a second opinion when I have a minute. HA>yeah right, when do I have a free minute?
I am beginning to think my problems are hormonal and I might need some sort of replacement therapy. I am at a loss, a total, utter loss. It sucks.

Other than that…Scandal season finale is tonight and I am stoked. I love that show. It comes very close to Alias and the first season of Prison Break for me. I cannot miss it.

I will try and check in on the road but I am not making any promises.

I keep forgetting to talk about soccer…that is a post worthy topic!

I Cried on Mother’s Day

Yes, you read that right.

I became a big baby because I told my husband to skip the gifts because of a BIG VACATION we are going on in less than two months but then I was sad that he didn’t even get me a card.
So then he ran to Kroger and came back with balloons, chocolates, a gift card to my favorite store, and the most beautiful card I have ever read.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, tears work. HA!

Seriously, I had a great Mother’s Day. Probably the best since I became a mother. We went to see the Cincinnati Reds. At first I didn’t love the idea, but it proved to be pretty awesome. We had great seats, the weather was cool but gorgeous, and Megan and Tyler both had out of body experiences and behaved like I have never seen them. I loved every minute of our day together.
I really do love my mother and my mother-in-law. Both of these women have touched my life in a really fantastic way. They are different from one another, but the lessons I have learned from their guidance are irreplaceable. They are awesome.

I also cried for a friend who is suffering from infertility. I want so badly for this to be her last childless Mother’s Day. I do believe in my heart that she will have a baby(ies!!!!) in her arms this time next year. I know when I was trying to have a baby how hard that day was for me. I still celebrated with my mom but secretly I could not wait for the day to be over. I thought about her and all the women in this world who do not have children by choice or not.

As always, I will leave you wil some cute pictures from yesterday.

A Letter to my Shoes

Dear Brooks,

I have been wearing your shoes for as long as I can remember. I believe my dad bought me my first pair when I was about 15 years old and subsequently every year since until he passed a couple of years ago. It took me a little while to decide to break in my new pair since I knew this would be the last pair my dad would ever buy me.

So, it hurts my heart to write that this particular pair of shoes has been the Bain of my existence since the day I put them on in January. They will not break in no matter how hard I try. I have had blister after blister after blister. I have even resorted to rotating them with an old pair to see if that makes a difference.

I love you, Brooks. I could be an ambassador for your company considering how many people I have converted to these shoes. But, I think we might need to break up for a while, or at least take a break. It hurts me to even say that.

I am giving you one more week to shape up or I will have to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. I hope we can work things out and remain in our exclusive relationship for another eighteen years. Please, oh please, don’t let me down.

Love, your sweetheart,
Elizabeth

PS if anyone out there in Internet-land has any suggestions for breaking in these shoes I would love to hear them!

From The Land Of Happy

Ten things that have made me extremely happy in the last week (in no particular order):

1. I passed my Praxis Exam with flying colors. I was so nervous about it I almost cried when I got the results!
2. Two of my weekend days were spent with my Bestie. That has been a long time coming.
3. We hosted a neighborhood party on Saturday and it was a complete success. YAY for local friends!
4. 18 days of school left…but who is counting?
5. Megan might be one of the funniest people I know. She played in a “corn pool” at the farm the other day and spent a lot of time picking kernels out of her butt crack. I.CANNOT.STOP.LAUGHING.ABOUT.IT.
6. Have you ever seen Tyler hold a baseball bat? Pure perfection; I must take a picture soon.
7. Avocados. The end.
8. Teaching about poverty. Not that it is a happy thing, but looking into my student’s eyes and seeing that “Ah-Ha” moment is awesome. I love teaching.
9. A clean house with the windows open and fresh air breezing through.
10. Boot Camp and Muscle Max…they might just change my life.

I will leave you with a couple of pictures from Young’s Jersey Dairy. If you live in the Cincinnati/Dayton area you must go this summer…so fun!!!!!

I Love You Bootcamp

I went to Bootcamp for the first time in my life this morning. One of my goals for the year was to do some sort of group fitness and since we are now 5 months into 2013 I thought it was about time. I have heard so many great things about CrossFit and Bootcamp that I thought it was time to check it out.

I was nervous this morning. I went by myself and I was running about 2 minutes behind schedule (I hate getting gas…but that is a post all in itself) so I was rushed to get in there. But the nervousness and anxiety quickly left me because the moment I entered the studio it was time to work. For 45 solid minutes I worked my body in a way that I have never done before. I ran sprints and did squats and lunges and jumping jacks, and I finally found out what a burpee is. Man I loved every minute of it. I was dripping in sweat by the time it was over.

I was the slowest and probably one of the three most out of shape people in the room but I didn’t care. I felt great. I kept thinking this is exactly what I needed at this exact moment. For those 45 minutes we were all a team and everyone was encouraging each other to do their best. The instructor kept saying, “this is all about you…push yourself to the maximum extent and don’t worry about the person next to you.” We were in it together but at our own pace.

However…I hate how my body feels right now. I am so sore and I can barely move, but I love it at the same time. Do you. Know what I mean? It just hurts so good.

Another reason why I cannot wait for the summer. I will be doing Bootcamp three times a week and I am already pumped about it.

And, just because, here is an adorable picture of Megan…somebody is happy about eating daddy’s birthday cupcake!

Life is Good

As most of you know I am a teacher. One of the most lovely thing about teaching is that you get a lot of time off. In fact, it is pretty amazing. I miss my students in the summer, but not enough to tech summer school.

I got a peek into how awesome this summer is going to be today. It took a personal day because I had a doctor’s appointment and just felt like taking the day off. Let me tell you, I loved being home. I just adore not having a scheduled dictated and the ability to just do what I need to do and fill the day with whatever we want to do.

We spent a lot of time playing, running, jumping, cleaning, rearranging, spinning, puzzling, and just enjoying life. I feel so great right now…I have tons of energy and I cannot stop smiling.

Yes, friends, this summer is going to be epic. I can almost taste it.

I also did some major moving around the house. All today’s made their way to the basement and I officially have my family room back. The mantel finally looks how I want it to (for today!) and the hall closet is finally, finally organized.

Next step…painting furniture…maybe.

Hope your Thursday was a great one!

My mantel looks somewhat Pinterest worthy…not that I am even on Pinterest!

Organized toy shelves. This piece might be painted this summer.

Life Lesson #23432: Don’t Tell Me How to Raise My Daughter

I have been on a diet since I was in the second grade.

I am not kidding.

I can distinctly remember my mom and my doctor talking about my weight in a negative way when I was seven years old…since then, I have feared going to the doctor because I did not want the doctor to think I was fat. When I was pregnant with Megan my first reaction after getting the “+” sign was pure joy and overwhelming happiness…then a sickness in the pit of my stomach that I was going to have to go to the doctor.

I was not a fat kid…in fact, I look at many pictures of my childhood and I look tall and skinny.
I always felt fat and ugly, though.

At the 20 week ultrasound, we found out Megan was a girl and I immediately started to become obsessed with how I was going to raise her. I want to raise a confident woman with a feeling that she can conquer the world. I do not want her to feel like she is too big or too fat or too anything to do anything. I just don’t want that. I want her to have a choice of the food that she eats and not be deprived of anything. I want her to learn portion control and have a sense for when she is full. I teach both of my kids what foods are healthy and what foods are not.

I always felt like I was “dieting” and my brother didn’t have to and it made me feel resentful and angry and I wanted to eat more.

So when my mom mentioned the other day that she was worried because Megan eats “junk all the time” and we need to “watch her” I lost my shit. I really did.

SHE IS THREE YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!

My mom only sees Meg on the weekends since we live in different cities. I do think we are more lax with what our kids eat on the weekends (isn’t everyone??). Megan does not eat junk all the time. In fact, during the week she eats a very balanced diet. I include vegetables with every meal and I limit snacks in the evenings.

My point is this, I do not want Megan to look back on her life and in her mind note the diets she was on. I want her to be active and happy and full of energy. I want her to choose outside over inside. I want her to feel strong and confident.

And, I am never going to let her feel like a failure because she is a big girl. Not everyone is made little and tiny and skinny. But, everyone is made unique and we will celebrate that.

A New Toy

Who needs a bounce house in their back yard?

Apparently, we do! (and I love it)

Megan’s Ballet Class is a Joke. Seriously.

Megan takes ballet every Wednesday at the YMCA. Miss Jamie is her teacher. When she first began taking classes in January I thought it was so cute that they spent time reading at the beginning of class, they did a lot of “skipping” around the room, and they played with fabric pieces at the end of class.

Now, I am annoyed by it.

Not that I don’t think Megan should be doing things that are fun and that her new BFF Gina is in the class, but I really wanted her to take the class because it would be structured for her. I thought that half hour would be a good way for her to learn discipline (in a three year old way), how to follow directions, and listening to an adult (that isn’t me).

Excuse me while I step on my soapbox.

I hate that in this growing generation everything has to be fun and exciting and interactive. It is annoying to me that everyone has to win something and get a trophy just because their parents paid the dues. I cannot stand that kids think they deserve to get an “A” just because they grace us with their presence.
It starts before pre-school people…and it is simply a travesty.

Not that I believe I was raised in the most perfect way, but I do know that I was not rewarded for bad behavior. In my dance classes we had to stand in a line and follow the lead of the teacher or we feared not being invited back. I had to try out for sports and there was no “B” team…if we didn’t make the team better luck next year. At school I had a healthy dose of fear of my teachers and was terrified if I did not have an assignment turned in on time. I wanted my parents to be proud of me; I never wanted to be a disappointment.

I do not think three year old ballet is a metaphor for life, but I do find that it would be appropriate for Miss Jamie to correct Megan if she is taking the wrong step. I want Megan to leave class not only loving ballet but also feeling confident in the work she put in during class. And, God forbid, I would like to feel like I am getting my money’s worth and that I am not paying for horseplay. Finally, it would be nice on June 1st if she knew at least one dance move for her recital.

I don’t think I am asking too much.

Living Life

First of all, my thoughts and prayers go out the victims in Boston as well as their friends and family. I am not sure what kind of sick person or organization can arbitrarily kill innocent people. It is horrific. One of my students and her family was there during the attack. They are okay.

So I took the Praxis II Exam for Special Education on Saturday. I have a Master’s Degree in Special Ed and I needed to pass this test as my last step to get my license in Special Education. I have been studying like a crazy person since I signed up to take the test mid-January. I have mixed feelings about the exam. On one hand, I thought I was very well prepared and could really not have done any more to get myself ready for the test; on the other hand, the items I studied and the practice tests I took prior to the actual test were much easier and simpler than the actual test. I am disappointed, but not defeated. I guess I will just see how it goes and if I need to re-take it, then so be it!

I am really not sure what direction having my Special Education License will take me in, but it will be nice to have it under my belt. I have taught at the same school for a long time and I love what I do and I love what I teach, so it is hard to see myself doing anything else or perusing a new career in this season of my life. Thoughts of making more money or working part time spin through my head all the time, but at the end of the day happiness is priceless.

There is so much happening right now in my life but nothing super exciting or blog-worthy. Sometimes I wonder why I even have a blog. My weight loss journey is still a work in progress and with little losses at the scale it seemed silly for me to keep up with Weighty Wednesdays. Maybe I will go back to it, but all I can express is frustration and no one wants to hear that every week.
With the weather getting nicer and nicer we have been spending every waking moment outside. I can already tell this is going to be one of the best summers ever. Megan is finally at an age where she is interacting with the other littles in our neighborhood and I die of cute about every day. Tyler swings a bat like he owns it and played his first game of pick-up baseball in the green space yesterday. My babies are growing up. I always dreamed of living in a place where my kids freely walk into other neighbor’s houses and their kids come into mine and it is finally coming to fruition. I love it. It was how I was raised and every time I watch the kids play it takes me back to a time when life was so simple and friends were people who lived around the block from you and eating a popsicle while hanging out at the playground was the BEST.THING.EVER!

The other day Shawn asked me if I was happier now then when I was single and I can honestly say a resounding “yes!” I loved my early twenties of going out every night, buying new outfits every weekend, and not having a care in the world…but my thirties have been filled with the most amazing gifts and I look forward to every day.

Maybe my weight is not where I need to be, I still stress daily about my BFF’s infertility, I am still morning the loss of my dad, but for the first time in my life I really feel content. I feel like a grown-up.

I might not be blogging a lot these days, but I am living…and life is pretty darn good.

I will leave you with a couple of my favorite pictures from the past week.