5 Facts (Megan)


Megan loves her friends. She wants to have people around all the time and at 5.5 years old she will play with 2 year olds, 10 year olds, or teenagers. Oh, and she leads the play at all times. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.


Megan has been playing tennis since birth…I exaggerate…since she was three. She takes it very seriously and gets upset when she does not win the game at the end if the session. Tennis is such a wonderful sport that she will be able to play forever and it has taught her great listening skills as well as sport skills.


When she is tired, Megan rubs her blankie and asks for milk. She could be running at 500 miles per hour, but when she asks for “pinkie and milk” you know she is done.


Megan is in the 100th percentile, off the charts in everything…height, weight, shoe size, everything. When she meets new people they assume she is in third grade (she will start kindergarten in the fall).
And she dresses like an 80’s girl with her shorts over her leggings…kind of hilarious!


I could and would hang out with Megan all day long. She is great company and we have awesome conversations. She is very insightful, intuitive, and smart beyond her years. I hope we always have a close relationship and she knows she is my favorite girl. Always.


5 Facts (Ryan)

Ryan is teething something fierce. He has 6 teeth total now and seven and eight are starting to break through the gums. I don’t think that is normal. I guess it is his normal.
He is still super happy, though…Tylenol for the win!

I started seriously sleep training this week. I am a total wreck about it. I have never been able to let my children cry it out, but I am legit desperate. I know he does not need to eat for 20 minutes in the middle of the night…especially when he is taking 10 ounces and cereal and a fruit or vegetable with 2 hours of going to bed. Logically, I get it. Oh, but my heart aches for my little guy. I have abandonment issues apparently.

Monday night Ryan cried for 25 minutes. Last night, 15.
I am hoping by Friday the habit will be broken and we all will be sleeping soundly.

Now, if only my 4 year old would sleep through the night. Awesome.

Ryan is wearing size 18 month clothes. This is much bigger than Megan was at 8 months and she is now a giant. This leads me to believe that Ryan will be breaking Guinness Book of World Records. Hopefully we can get a reality show about it or something. We need the cash.

Said baby is huge but meeting zero milestones. He only rolls over occasionally, he can sit up but refuses to crawl, and I am pretty sure he will not do anything because he is always being picked up and coddled by his brother and sister. They might love him to death before his first birthday.

We are in the middle of a two week diaper study. When I sign up for these studies I am always lured in by the cash they pay (see #3). I have amnesia when it comes to the fact that you have to weigh and bag all used diapers, record every aspect of the diaper, and sometimes the diapers just suck.


Make a Change Monday #8

I will start on a positive note…I was finally able to fit in my gel manicure for meeting my January goal (one day before the end of February, but still, I am happy about it) That may be my only positive of the week.

I have fallen…and I have fallen hard.

Ever since the unexpected week off of work I have been on a horrible slippery slope called the “February Funk.” It has been awful and I have been trying to work my way out of it and I finally have today.

It is March and I am happy about it.  Goodbye February.  I will not miss you.

I started over this morning.  I am still down quite a few pounds from the beginning of January, but I am nowhere near where I wanted to or planned to be in my weight loss journey.  Enough is enough. I have to be better and I have to give myself less slack.  It is a necessity.   I get so off track when my schedule even gets a bit off.  This has been my downfall for a long time…I am a creature of habit and routines and doing things a certain way.  But this is life and life is not pretty and wrapped in bow all the times.  Things will get harder and more crazy as the years go on so I am just going to have to get used to adapting and changing and fitting in a workout when I have the time…even if it is only 15 minutes.  I have to eat what I track and not a bite more.  And, if I want more, I need to track it and deal with the consequences.

The thing I hate most about this hole I have put myself in is that I HATE how I feel when I am not tracking and exercising.  I LOVE how my body feels when it is in transition.  I can actually feel the burn inside of me.  I am not sure if anyone understands this feeling, but it is awesome.  I want to feel it again.  Like, right now, today.

I only met my salad goal.  I did not work out 4 days a week nor did I lose ten pounds this month.  I am down, but not defeated. Actually, I am really not down.  I feel good today.  I feel ready to get back on the bandwagon and conquer this thing.  I have no goals for the month other than to be down at the end of it.  I know what I have to do to get there.

I will be 40 on March 26 and even though I will be no where near a weight that I would like to be at, I will feel better than I do today.  That is a promise!

Here are my stats for this week (I am owning them, even though it sucks):

Weight loss: +3.6
Total Pounds Lost: -14.6


I have a problem.

4 years, 4 months, and 8 days after the fact I am still totally and completely haunted by the death of my dad.

I just can’t believe it happened.

I miss him terribly.

I miss his daily phone calls, his sound advice, his quirky personality.

I miss his mustache, his perfectly-straight-never-needed-braces teeth, his running legs, his voice.

I will never be loved by anyone as much as he loved me.

I feel so alone in this grief.  

No one understands because he was mine.  Our relationship was so sweet and pure and awesome. I talked to him every day (sometimes two or three times a day) for my entire life.  There is a void every day when I am waiting for a phone call that will never come.

At lunch yesterday many people were talking about the death of a loved one.  It was so sad that so many of us have lost a parent.  I couldn’t even speak because I was so over-whelmed and devastated with grief.  

I am wrecked.

Ryan looks exactly like him. When I look into his eyes I see my dad.  It is both a blessing and a curse…so happy, yet so, so sad.

The Dennis Shephard look, spot on.

Just had to get it out today…


Make a Change Monday #7

Coming in late night/early morning with an update. Complete transparency…I haven’t been to the gym in over a week. Some is my own doing, but mostly it is because we have been snowed/iced/frozen in.  I also gave been off with my dieting as well.

No need to rehash and get all self-loathing. I just need to get back on the bandwagon and move forward. I am going I have an active week and I have already started to really watch what goes in my mouth. I only have a week left in this month and I want to end on a high note.

Here are my stats for this week: 

Weight loss: +.8 

Total Pounds Lost: -18.2

February Goal: -10 

# Away from Goal: 5.4

Reward: Gel Manicure

Iced In

I have to tell you, I never really wanted to be a stay at home mom. As I have said many times before, I think I have the best job in the world and I really get to have the best of both worlds. I get to work with a lot of smart and interesting people who respect me and my work. I teach great kids and collaborate with a lot of neat parents. For three months of the year I stay at home and eventually my kids will all be at school with me.

IMG_1889Two days ago…a day we could actually go out!

Stay at home moms, I give you all the credit in the world! This week has really taught me how much I like to be on the go. Staying at home day in and day out trying to entertain the masses has been rough. It would be different if we had places to go or people to see or if the temperature wasn’t so FRIGID outside that we could go out, it would be different. But, seriously, enough is enough!

In the summer we have a schedule and we do ALL THE THINGS! But when it is -11 and you have an infant and two other kids that do not keep gloves on I just can’t justify doing anything.

IMG_1897 They greet Ryan every morning like this. Totally cute.

So here we are, Snow Day #4 and we are literally climbing the walls. We have done crafts and pretend play and play dough (which this neat freak thinks is sent directly from Hell) and painting and jewelry making and fort building and baking and cleaning and doing it all again.

IMG_5760 Dance party at 8 am. Anyone? Anyone?

I love my kids and I love being with them, however, have you ever heard the phrase, “absence makes the heart grow fonder?”

Yes it does.
Yes it does.

IMG_1906What doesn’t kill him will make him stronger.

If it warns up above zero we might take the kids to the indoor pool tonight. Sweet!

IMG_1909 8 months! How did that happen????

What are you doing to keep from getting the winter blues?


I think I wrote here a week ago about experiencing Eucharistic Adoration and how I really felt changed by it. Since that day I have been preparing myself for Lent. Now, I have give up coffee for the last ten years and it has, honestly, not changed my life at all. This year I want to do something meaningful; something that will change me over the next 40 days.and, I don’t want it to be something diet/exercise related because that is already a given.

I have decided on a few things:
1. Spend more time in prayer.
2. Attend Adoration when it is offered.
3. Go to confession
4. Write a few meaningful letters
5. Be more patient and more kind

I have also signed up for the Best Lent Ever and will be following that weekly program.