Month #4: The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

To say slow and steady wins the race would be true for me I this journey. While I would love to lose 20 pounds a month, that is just not realistic. I will take a loss for a loss and I have to be happy with this. My doctor is very pleased with how things are going, so I feel good about that. 

The Good:

  • I lost weight! 7 pounds gone this month for a total of 29.4 pounds since December.
  • Fitting into shorts that I haven’t been able to wear since 2006. Yay me.
  • Overall I am feeling so great…more energy, better movement overall, and happier mentally.
  • Zero anxiety issues this past month. A miracle.

The Bad:

  • I still think I can do better on my diet. I always kill it the last week before weigh-in and if I was just more consistent I would lose more weight.
  • I am sooooo busssssyyyyyy!!!

The Ugly

  • The husband’s schedule changes in May and I will have to take a haitus from my morning workout routine.
  • Summer is coming and I am still nowhere close to swimsuit shape. Blerg.

 

this picture does nothing for me

 



Let it Go

One thing I am trying to focus on during this year of positive changes is to let things go…I mean figuratively and  literally. With every pound I have gained I have also added a lot of resentfulness, jealously, and anger. These are things I never really had to deal with in my younger years but have crepted into my life just as the pounds have. It is hard to manage and difficult to confront.

At some point I stopped appreciating all the blessings in my life and started hating things that I used to love. I am trying to value things for what they are; the good, the bad, and the ugly. This has taken a lot of self reflections and evaluation and some of the things I have discovered about myself I don’t like and I want to change.

GOAL: look at life though my child’s eyes

For instance, I want to be kinder to my spouse. I don’t want to create arguments over stupid Sh!t that doesn’t matter. This means I need to be less controlling and more open to him making family decisions (even if I don’t totally agree). I also need to be less rigid about a lot of things. The laundry, dusting, vacuuming, and kitchen counters will be there tomorrow…take a chill pill, lady! (easier said than done)

Finally, I want to spend more time with people I love and enjoying being around. I want to accept more invitations and ask more people to hang out. I am *thinking* about putting a neighborhood all call out for a walking buddy in the evening.

 

And let Tyler take more selfies…definitely.

 
This is all so much easier said than done. I struggle so much with this. Generally I am happy but I am also somewhat unhappy. I concede because I don’t want to fight but when I suppress the feelings it just makes me more angry and I want to fight. I am so upset about this. Something needs to change it I also don’t think I am the only one who needs to change. Does that make sense???

I’m glad I got this out.

I feel better.

Ah.

 

I just wanted to take a moment to write about the little darlings in my life.
Megan and Tyler and Ryan make my life super fun and full and busy and crazy. They are awesome and sometimes naughty. Each has a very distinct personality which is something I love…they all came from me but are so distinct.

    Megan is six and in kindergarten. She is caring and loving and friendly. She loves school and wants her teacher (and everyone) to like her so she is a rule follower through and through. After school everyday she is exhausted and takes it out on me (I forgive her) but after a short nap, usually in the car, she is back to her self. She is athletic and also into the arts and she wants to do and try everything (just like her mommy). Megan is expressive and amazing and I just love her so much!

  

Tyler is five and currently in Pre-K. He would rather spend all his time in pajamas than anything else. He is feisty and driven and doesn’t have a care in the world. Currently he hates school and does not like listening to his teacher or doing what she says. But, he is quiet and introverted and you would never know this about him. Tyler is happy playing any sports, wrestling with his dad or his friends, and dressing up in super hero costumes. He is a looker…that blonde hair stops you in your tracks. Tyler is also a lover and likes to be “held tight” when he is faking asleep. Ryan is the baby but Tyler is OUR baby for sure.

  
Ryan is twenty months and a total joy. Seriously, he is the best baby. He sleeps well, eats well and is generally happy all the time. His laugh is contagious and his blue eyes will mesmerize you! He is quickly moving from babyhood to toddlerhood and I have mixed feelings about it. I love that our family is moving into a more independent stage, but I also miss my baby! But, Ryan still gives kisses and hugs and snuggles all the time. He doesn’t say much but you always know what he wants and needs. I just love my little guy!

  
So there you have it. My wonderful kids in a nutshell. I wish I could freeze time with them.

My Kids

I just wanted to take a moment to write about the little darlings in my life.

Megan and Tyler and Ryan make my life super fun and full and busy and crazy. They are awesome and sometimes naughty. Each has a very distinct personality which is something I love…they all came from me but are so distinct.

  
Megan is six and in kindergarten. She is caring and loving and friendly. She loves school and wants her teacher (and everyone) to like her so she is a rule follower through and through. After school everyday she is exhausted and takes it out on me (I forgive her) but after a short nap, usually in the car, she is back to her self.  She is athletic and also into the arts and she wants to do and try everything (just like her mommy). Megan is expressive and amazing and I just love her so much!

  
Tyler is five and currently in Pre-K. He would rather spend all his time in pajamas than anything else. He is feisty and driven and doesn’t have a care in the world. Currently he hates school and does not like listening to his teacher or doing what she says. But, he is quiet and introverted and you would never know this about him. Tyler is happy playing any sports, wrestling with his dad or his friends, and dressing up in super hero costumes. He is a looker…that blonde hair stops you in your tracks. Tyler is also a lover and likes to be “held tight” when he is faking asleep. Ryan is the baby but Tyler is OUR baby for sure.

  
Ryan is currently twenty months old and is not in school yet. He is getting so big and so cute. The baby stage is coming to an end for our little (big) baby and we are definitely entering toddlerhood. I do not want to wish the baby stage away for any reason, but I am starting to see how much easier things are getting the more he grows. Ryan is the sweetest little guy. He loves giving kisses and hugs and cuddles. While he doesn’t say much, you know exactly what he wants at all times. His favorite thing to do is be left alone but that doesn’t happen often. He enjoys strolling in the park, exploring new things, and running away with a dirty diaper. Ha! 

  

Tyler Turns Five

How in the world did my baby boy turn 5??? Now we all know that Ryan is the baby of our family, but if you know Tyler Johnny well, you know that he actually is the baby. Even at five years old he is my cuddle-bug. He loves to be held “tight” and he loves to be carried around and he loves ending the day with a sippy cup of chocolate milk.

  
Tyler makes our days very interesting. He’s got the “Jeckle and Hyde” mentality going on ~ he is sweet as can be one minute and the BOOM temper tantrum…we are working on this.

  
Over-all he is a boy’s boy. He plays hard with friends, makes huge messes, and always has dirty finger nails.  He prefers pajamas (or being naked) over clothes. And he loves to play dress up super heroes, baseball, football, and wrestling (especially his dad)

  
I love him more each day of his life and and honored that I get to see him grow up.

Happy birthday, sweet boy! I love you to the moon and back!

  

My Little 100 Year Old Lady!

  
Megan is a 100 days smarter today! In honor of the 100th day of school her Kindergarten class dressed as 100 year old people. Too much cuteness!!!!!

  
She said she was lucky because not everyone in her class actually knew someone who was 100 years old (Aunt Ruth). I love that she has memories with my sweet auntie!

Megan is amazing with numbers and she is starting to read and the world is opening up to her and I love watching it and being a part of this journey!

This weekend we will register Tyler for Kindergarten (hold me!!!) and I really can’t wait to see what is in store for him!

Ryan Robert

Ryan turned 18 months old and is just as cute as a button. He seriously makes my heart swoon. I never thought I could love another child as much as the first two, but, alas, he has expanded my heart in such a way that I smile just thinking about it.

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this is how he is every.single.day. SUPER HAPPY!


He is a BIG BOY, wearing mostly 2T/3T clothing. He is in the 100% in height and 89% in weight. So big!

 

obligatory doctor visit photo

 
He loves his naps and he is the best sleeper in the house (thank the Lord!). He loves to eat green beans and chicken and noodles and eggs. And he LOVES playing with his brother and sister.

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an oldie but a goodie


Oh baby RyRy you make life so so good!