NaBloPoMo

I am going to take the challenge.  BlogHer has put a challenge forth to all of us who blog to write a post everyday in November.  I am going to take that challenge.  Thankyouverymuch!  I have really been enjoying blogging and getting into the swing of things, but, of course, I have taken a few days off in the midst of it.  But, starting Thursday, I am going to make it a point to blog daily.

Melissa, who organizes the challenge, has put prompts up on BlogHer.  I need the prompts because my biggest beef with blogging is that sometimes I don’t know what to say or have anything to say for that matter.

To get myself going I am not going to write a post about our trip to see Disney on Ice, Misssionaries staying at our house, or Halloween festivities until Thursday!  HA!

This is going to be fun.  If you want to link up, go to  http://www.nablopomo.com and check it out!

Have a great day!

Roll With the Punches

Today has been interesting.  I just found out that my husband is starting another new shift at his job next week.  This will make about six shift changes in the last three months.  I have rolled with it, and for that, I am proud.  I do not like change, so something like this years ago would have thrown me into a complete anxiety-ridden spaz.  I have really been working in the last two years to roll with the punches, create a new reality based on circumstances, and not to sweat the small stuff.  I can honestly say I feel so much better about myself and my outlook on life.

Isn’t it funny how we spend at least 12 years in formal education, but it is the life lessons that really educate us most?

 

In other news…I am feeling great after my class yesterday.  My muscles are sore, but not unbearable.  I think I am going to join the class this Saturday.

IDidIt!

I did it!!! Today was the day I decided to go ahead and try and exercise class. My gym offers a million (well, maybe not a million but a lot) free exercise classes each week, but I have been too intimidated to try one. But, today my friends, today was the day! I decided earlier in the week that I was going to join in on the fun of the muscle max class. It is sort of like body pump in that it is very interactive and you move from position to position very quickly. I was really, really, really, really nervous about going. As luck would have it, my friend Kim was on the treadmill when I got there. She said she was going to take the class so it made me feel so much more comfortable to have a friend with me.

I must say, I loved the class. It was super fast-paced, and I was never bored. Oh, and it was extremely difficult! I was sweating like a maniac and had to drink about a gallon of water during the class.

I am so proud of myself. I will give a re-cap of how I feel muscle-wise tomorrow. I have a feeling I am going to be in a lot of pain. Good pain.

Has anyone else tried something new recently?

O Happy Day

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Eight years ago today I married the most awesome man. He loves me for me and has stood by my side during the best of times and the worst of times. I knew I was going to marry him the first day I met him.

Love you, Shawn.

True to form, we are not spending the evening together because Shawn has to work. So, I made him a delicious steak dinner to take to work and I am having salmon and a Brussels sprout combo that is delicious. Here is a picture for your enjoyment. It has a little bit of this and a little bit of that in it.

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anything with goat cheese rocks!

Have a great evening!

A Weighty Issue

To say I have been in a bit of a funk would be an understatement.  I have been having a hard time with life. And I am over it.

This week I am going to get back into my groove.  I plan on working out every day…well, except for Thursday because I have after school conferences.  I also plan on eating really well this week.  I went to the grocery store yesterday and bought a bunch of good food including chicken tenderloins, spinach, celery, carrots, and baby corn.  These ingredients will, along with brown rice and eggs, make my not-so-famous chicken fried rice.  Which I love and it is very healthy and will be enough for dinner and several lunches.   I also made Caitlyn’s corn bread quiche this weekend.  I think she must use a Jiffy mix or something and I made homemade cornbread so the cornbread to other ingredients ratio was not right.  However, I just cut off the bottom and it is just fine.  Delicious, actually.  I will be bringing it for breakfast this week.

I also have to put life into perspective.  I really have a great life.  I have really been blessed with a lot of great people in my life.  I also have a job I love, a house, and food on the table.  Really, this funk is my own doing and I need to bring myself out of it.

The only thing in my life that is causing me much stress is trying to lose this weight.  I have to do it.  That is fact.  So, I just need to suck it up and do it.  I need to exercise, I need to count calories, and I just need to do it without complaint, or woe, or a defeatist attitude.  Someone once said that food does not taste as good as thin feels.  I am not so sure about that.  I love how food tastes and I love to eat.  I know what thin feels like, and sometimes it just does not compare to a peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich on a cold October evening when I am all alone J  I jest.

As I type this I am so hungry.  REALLYHUNGRY!  No amount of water is going to make up for the food I want to eat.  I have tried it.  I just need to suck it up.  I can only eat what I can eat in a calorie-driven day.  And, that is it.  It is so annoying when people go on and on ad nauseum about stuff like this, but I just have to do it.  I have to keep talking it out to build myself up.  Oh, and this is my blog, so I can do what I want and talk about what I want and over-all just write posts on whatever topic moves me.  So there.

Loving Church

To say this has been a difficult week would be an understatement. It had its ups and downs but the downs were definitely very low. This is the lowest I have been in a long time. I have never formally suffered from mental illness, but I do have a touch of anxiety and depression runs in my family, so I have a heightened awareness of my feelings. If I did not have a reason to get out of bed I probably would have pulled the covers up to my chin and called it a week on Tuesday.

So, it was especially refreshing this morning when the theme of the homily turned out to be about The Year of Faith and how are we supposed to carve out time in our busy life the better our faith life. Our pastor spent a good amount of time asking us to reflect on this one questions, “why is it worth it to knock on the door of faith?” After the week I had, I really had a hard time answering that. Life is hard, busy, aggravating, full, crazy, tiring, exhausting…life just is. On any given day there are ups and downs, moments of pure happiness, and moments of when will this end?. Somedays I lay my head on the pillow and don’t even have the energy for an Amen let alone real prayer.

But, but, it is worth the knock…it is worth the extra time we need to carve out for our faith. Why? Because the person standing firmly on the other side of that door loves us beyond human understanding. He loves us so much that he gave his life for us. To me, that is totally worth it.

I will leave you with cuteness. Of, course, they would not stand still for a picture.

20121021-154957.jpg amazing how a $2 balloon will change their day!

Random

My goal this week was to write something everyday. I have found I really enjoy blogging (even more than journaling, maybe?) and want to keep the momentum going. Today, however, I have nothing to say except some boring stuff that even I am not interested in really. But, lists make everything more fun, so I am going to list the top 5 exciting things that have happened to me today…in no particular order.

1. I found the cutest Halloween costumes for M&T but of course I am not going to spill the beans on them until the actual day.

2. I went to JC Penney’s and found awesome jeans and a cool shirt. I protested JCP for a long time because I am a coupon girl and I hate hate hate their new no coupon policy, but I might be a believer again.

3. I have stayed in my allotted calories for more days than I can even count and I feel damn good about it.

4. I love Gossip Girl. There. I said it. It is so wrong but so right.

5. Tyler is obsessed with BuzzLightyear and all of his toys bug the be geezers out of me.

Doing Good!

Yesterday was a shitty day…for more reasons than one. I spent the majority of the day in tears for reasons I explained and reasons I do not want to go into. I went to bed at 8:00 just to make the day end. Yuck.

But, there is nothing like doing good deeds for others to bring you out of a serious funk. Today I spent the day at the Free Store Food Bank in downtown Cincinnati. I had the pleasure of working with 10 girls from my 8th grade class. These young ladies worked their butts off for 6 hours only taking a break to eat lunch. I never heard one complaint and at the end of the day each one of them thanked the volunteer coordinator for letting them come. It makes me so proud that every year I get to experience this type of generosity and volunteerism. I have heard from so many people how difficult my job must be, but I can honestly say everyday is a challenge but a joy. As I have said so many times before, I am blessed.

Hamilton County, where I live, has the third highest childhood hunger rate in the Midwest. Not something to be proud of. But FSFB is doing something to help end the cycle of poverty. I learned so much there today and I am proud to say my girls packaged over 600 “Power Packs” (weekend meal kits) for children in our area.

I left there uplifted and full of hope. It is so funny how doing something for a person in need makes me feel so good. When I got back to school the kids who went to other locations were chomping at the bit to tell me about their day. One group went and worked with adults with developmental disabilities, another group helped at a pro-life organization, several groups worked at poverty related charities. They all had a great day and their eyes were opened just a little wider to the world today.

I feel good, I feel really good. I was seriously down yesterday and today I am up. Way up.
It was a good day.

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Megan’s first boyfriend

In Memory

It has been two years since we buried my dad. I have to say that I feel no less pain than I did that day. Sometimes the hurt is so debilitating that I have a hard time getting out of bed. It sneaks up on me. I try to be fine. I live life to the fullest for my kids. Each day I hope it gets better, and some days I think it is better…But then I see a grandpa watching his grandchildren at the park, or a family eating dinner together, or a couple in their mid-sixties holding hands. It creeps up on me. The pain is so intense that I feel like I am going to throw up or pass out or something.

My mom and I were talking this past weekend about how we don’t think it is going to be better. The pain is just always going to be there. We are just going to have to manage it better. I am not angry that my dad died. I am not jealous of other people whose dads are still living. I am just sad. I am so sad every time a monumental thing happens in my life and my dad is not there. Some days I wait for hours for a phone call that will never come again.

I had the best dad. I really did. He loved us so much, so hard, in such a genuine way. I didn’t just think of him as my father, but he really was one of my best friends. He only wanted the best for me and my brother. He expected a lot from us and we always wanted to make him proud. He loved to brag about us. He loved to share in every moment of our lives. He gave me so much and expected so little in return. I will never know anyone who will love me more than he did.

As I sit here two years later, I can’t even put into words my feelings. I am so angry that he will not be here for my babies. He would have loved being with them. When I close my eyes at night I sometimes see him and Megan and Tyler. His world would have been them. They would have wanted to be with him all the time. Just like I did.

When my dad was dying we spent a lot of time talking. He knew how much I loved him. I hope he knows that everything I do I still think about him.

I know today will be like an other day to most people. I know that few will call me, or wish me well, or ask me how I am doing. But for me, today will always be the day that I became a fatherless daughter. I joined an exclusive club that no one wants to be a part of. Two years ago today a part of me died as well.