On Making Friends

One of my goals this years (besides weight loss, obviously) is to make some good friend in my neighborhood and in Cincinnati in general. I have always had a lot of friends. My core group started at age five in the “way back” of my mom’s station wagon on the way to kindergarten. Three of these girls were in my wedding. My other bridesmaids came along in high school and college. I also had a group of friends I met and meshed with the original core group through my early twenties. Now we are one big group with husbands and families but we still feel the same way about each other. The problem is, we are spread out through the east coast and get to see each other much less than I would like.

I have lived in the northern suburbs of Cincinnati for eight years. The first three years were spent in a miserable state of “what have I done?” I really hated my neighborhood, felt meh about my job, and was just getting used to the married life. Years four and five were spent making and having babies and losing a very sick parent. Last year and this year I have been working on extending myself and meeting new people.

You see, I love having good friends and I love being a good friend. I really never had to work at it, though. Making friends always came pretty naturally to me. I am a joiner and outgoing and enjoy trying new things. But making friends as an adult is a whole new ball game. People have commitments and kids and jobs and husbands and bills to pay and no one seems to have any time (including me). The one thing I know for sure is that in order to be a great friend you need to MAKE TIME to do so.

I found a couple of girls I really enjoy though work…we got out Master’s together and those rides to and from Xavier really were great for getting to know each other. I also think many of the wives of Shawn’s friends are nice and there is one in particular that I have been working on fostering a friendship with outside of our husbands. This summer I met a lot of my neighbors through hanging at the park, but it seems like I didn’t really work of the friendships correctly because after the fall they kind of fizzled out.

A couple of months ago I started seeing a lot of my neighbors at the gym. We started taking a little bit more and I found I really enjoy these women. They are nice and normal and easy to talk to. I also helped Megan put together Valentine’s for the little girls in our neighborhood (aka…in order to have friends you need to be a friend).

Anyways long story short, on Friday I went out with a few of these women and I had an amazing time. They are really cool people and we had so much to talk about and so many laughs. I would love to hang out its them more often, even with the kids and the husbands.

I feel like it is a good start. And I really hope I can continue working it out. I have come to love this neighborhood and we plan to stay here for a long time. It would be so nice to have a core group here…if only for a cup of sugar or some moral support.

How do you make friends as an adult? Any tips?