Pregnancy Week 21

20140222-073621.jpg
Let’s talk about TEAM GREEN. We found out at our twenty week ultrasound with both Megan and Tyler what gender they were. Especially with Megan, our first, the frenzy of buying began; not just by us, but by everyone who loved us and loved this little baby in my belly. After we had Tyler we decided that if we were to even be blessed with more children we would want to wait for the delivery room to find out the gender. I mean, we have one of each so whatever gender the baby is we would be happy and blessed.
The hardest part of being team green is the reactions I get from people (especially family members). People honestly feel like it is their right to know the gender before the baby is born. Most people have a very strong emotional reaction to this news.
But, we are excited. We know it will be extra-special in the delivery room this time around. If it is a boy or a girl we will be thrilled nonetheless.

Pregnancy: Week 21

Sleep: I have been up and down all week. Last night I was up from 2:30 to 4:00. WOW~ almost like having a newborn.

Gender: Team Green

Name: We talked about a girl’s name for so long (it was a close second when we had Megan) but now I am leaning towards another name. I keep having dreams that we are having a little girl with this name. We are set on a first name for a boy and I would like my dad’s name to be his middle name but we shall see.

Feeling: My previous post said a lot about my emotional health. I am struggling, but I recognize it and am working my way out of it. Also, having dinner last night with my BFF was just what the doctor ordered.

Health: I am finally (FINALLY!!!) feeling pretty good. It has been so nice to not cough every 5 minutes.

Movement: Loving the movement. It is happening all the time now.

Belly: I see a progression in my belly when I look at pictures next to one another, however if you saw me on the street you would just think I am fat, not pregnant.

Next Appointment: March 12th

Thoughts on a Thursday

After my downer post earlier in the week I think I will focus on some positive happenings from the past week or so. So, here are ten things that have made me happy in words and pictures:

1. Tyler got a haircut. I have been begging Shawn to take him and he finally did yesterday. He looks adorable and like my little baby again.

20140220-172038.jpg
2. Megan riding her scooter. I have outdoor kids. They love to be active and moving. With the bad weather I decided to throw caution to the wind and let Megan ride her scooter in the kitchen (we are getting new floors in the next few months anyway). The girl FLYS!!! It is amazing how coordinated she is.

20140220-172104.jpg
3. My littles sleeping together. I hate when they crawl into my bed and cramp my style, but I love coming out of the bathroom and seeing this.

20140220-172136.jpg
4. Kids in the snow. The winter has lasted an eternity, but, luckily, Megan and Tyler LOVE LOVE LOVE the snow.

20140220-172206.jpg
5. Melt. If you live in Columbus or Cleveland or it is a one tank trip, stop whatever you are doing and go there. Seriously. Like, right now.

20140220-172239.jpg

20140220-172251.jpg
6. New sweatsuit. Megan thought she was so cute that day. I have to agree.

20140220-172326.jpg
7. Tyler selfies. He loves the iPhone.

20140220-172357.jpg
8. My hair in a bun. So easy and I got a million compliments on it.

20140220-172523.jpg
9. The cutest Valentine ever. EVER.

20140220-172600.jpg
10. Tyler on a scooter with his backpack on in his too-tight PJ’s. This picture says it all. AWESOME!

20140220-172643.jpg

It’s a Struggle Sometimes

I have been struggling.

I don’t know if it is the weather or the endless sickness in my home or what, but it has been a rough month for me. I feel somewhat depressed and defeated and like there is so much to do and not enough time to do it.

Some days I feel like my sole purpose is nanny, cook and maid. I am not feeling the love around me. I feel worthless and unimportant and robot-like. It is a terrible place to be.
I cry at the drop of a hat (I know this is pregnancy hormones) and I have a hard time explaining why I am so sad. I am sort of freaking out about being a mom of three.

There, I said it.

I don’t know if I am cut out for three kids. I have a hard time wrangling two. I keep telling myself Megan and Tyler will be six months older by the time Baby R gets here, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling overwhelmed with the thought of it.

Most people don’t see this side of me because I hide it well. In the public eye I am positive and hopeful and always willing to help. I say “yes” even though in my mind I want to say no. I smile when I want to cry.

But I am resentful. I let things fester in my mind. I think about terrible thoughts.
I know this is just a season and it will pass…but trudging through this time has been rough. I am sure there are many people out there who have these same sorts of feelings…fulfilled yet completely unfulfilled…loved but unloved…happy and sad at the same time.

And, I actually hate feeling like this. I feel like a fool because I have so many wonderful things happening and people in my life. I just have a hard time seeing the “glass half full” at times.

I guess I just need to keep moving forward.

Part of this issue (I think) is due to not exercising. I know that exercise does wonders for my mental state and with all this sickness I have not consistently been to the gym in weeks. That changed yesterday. I did 3 miles on the treadmill last night before taking the kids down to the pool for a short swim that I promised them. It felt good to be out and doing SOMETHING. I also made some exercise goals for myself over the course of the next couple of months, I will always put the health of my baby first, but if I am feeling good I want to push myself in the second trimester.

I actually feel better putting my thoughts down in writing. I might not be ready to move forward, but it is a start.

Pregnancy Week 20

20140217-124251.jpg

My big anatomy scan was yesterday. I thought I would be really sad because we are not finding out the gender, but I wasn’t at all. In fact, it was easier to concentrate on all the amazing sights on the screen. Our baby is perfect. We could not be more thrilled.

Pregnancy: Week 20

Sleep: I slept like a rock this week. It was awesome

Gender: Team Green

Name: I can’t commit to anything at this point

Feeling: I am finally crawling out, slowly but surely, of this horrible funk I have been in for over a month. I cannot believe that I am actually able to breathe out of my nose. It is amazing.

Health: Feeling good. I am heading back to the gym on Monday

Movement: This baby is crazy in there. At my ultrasound yesterday the baby was kicking so hard the tech could feel it from the outside…at 21 weeks!!! It is really a joy every single time I feel it.

Belly: My regular pants still fit but all of my shirts are way too short. I prefer maternity pants because they flatter me much more.

Next Appointment: March 12th

Weekend on Wednesday

My goodness, the Sickness/Plague might have finally left the Richardson household. Shawn was the last one to get it…he was down for the count on Friday and Saturday. Megan threw up Sunday morning, but rallied and was fine the rest of the day. I am still coughing, but I can finally breathe through my nose (a little) and I actually feel like I might have a bit of energy. Tyler seems to be doing alright.

This has been a long winter. I know everyone is saying it, but I am longing for Spring; warmer weather. No, I do not want blazing hot Summer, yet. I would be happy with weather in the mid-thirties or forties. I don’t think that is too much to ask.

We finished up the celebration for Tyler’s third birthday with a party for family and close friends on Sunday. We had a super hero theme and Shawn and I even dressed up for the occasion. It was classic.

20140212-214210.jpgSuperhero Family

Many were not able to make it because of the snow and ice and other commitments, but those who were there made it very special for my super guy. He loves opening presents. I wish I could bottle his expression when he just asks to “open one more!” it is adorable. Oh, and I just love how he looks in the picture blowing out the candles. Such pure joy.

I am ready to get back to reality this week. I have not been to the gym in over a week and my body can feel it. I want to move again. Also, I have been thinking about seeing a chiropractor. My hips and back seem totally out of whack. When I go to the doctor this week I am going to ask about it. I really think everything it totally out of alignment and needs to be popped back into place.

It’s going to be a great week…I can just feel it!

20140212-214305.jpg

Pregnancy Week 19

20140208-073703.jpg

I just turned 20 weeks (have way there! Eek!) so it is time to talk about week #19.
I hate to sound like a broken record, but this week has been miserable. My cough is back in full force and the sneezing does.not.stop. It is more annoying than anything. I took a ½ day yesterday because I was very feverish and just needed to rest. I tell you, it has been horrible. I can only hope that this is the beginning of the end and I will be feeling so much better next week. The power of positive thinking.

And the kids, the poor kids. Let’s just stick with the facts…# of times people have thrown up this week = 5. # of beds I have changed over the course of three days = 4. Highest fever = 103. Not good. Not good at all. The only day everyone (including me and Shawn) was collectively healthy was on Tyler’s birthday. Thank goodness.

The real question is, when it this pregnancy going to feel real? Shawn and I talk all the time about how this baby will probably not feel real until I push him/her out in June. It is so strange. I love this baby and know this is happening…but I am just so busy it is hard to take time and really enjoy being pregnant.

Pregnancy: Week 19

Sleep: Okay…if I could just get rid of this congestion/cough it would be so much better

Gender: Team Green

Name: We go back and forth. I tell you, it is harder to commit when you are not finding out the gender

Feeling: Pregnancy wise, I feel pretty good. I seem to have a lot of energy and the morning sickness has been so much better. My general health has been horrible this winter. I have fought the flu/cold/strep/ear infections for the whole month of January and now moving into February. I would just love to be able to breathe normally at some point.

Health: See above. No bueno

Movement: YES! The flutter started on Monday evening (February 3). They have been inconsistent, but amazing.

Belly: It is out there…and I love it.

Next Appointment: The BIG ultrasound/anatomy scan is scheduled for February 13. I am taking the day off! If we can get through it without finding out the gender it will be a miracle.

A Birthday Celebration

20140206-185733.jpg
My little guy turned three yesterday and what a day it was. So unexpected and awesome, just like him!
The day started out in the early morning with a call saying school was cancelled because of snow/ice. SCORE!
We spent the morning lounging around, until about 8:30 when he could not contain himself any longer and we needed to wake daddy up so he could open presents immediately. Oh, and he loved his presents…
We went quality this year and not quantity so the things he got he REALLY loved and wanted. Just look at his expressions. So cute.

20140206-185825.jpg

20140206-185833.jpg

20140206-185851.jpg
After presents we had a “Tyler’s Favorites” breakfast which consisted of sausage, cereal, and cinnamon rolls. And then we lounged for a while longer. At about noon Shawn seemed to think the roads were okay to drive on, so we all got dressed and headed to Chuck E. Cheese for some pizza and games. The place was EMPTY because the roads were pretty miserable. We spent a couple of hours there and the kids had a ball.

20140206-185932.jpg

20140206-185944.jpg
I thought for sure they would both be asleep by the time we got home, but they held strong, which was good. All the kids in our neighborhood were out in the back when we arrived home, so I quickly got Megan, Tyler, and myself dressed and we went out to sled and explore. It was the perfect day for being outside because it was not too cold and the snow was packed down because of the ice. The kids stayed out for an hour and then we headed back inside.

20140206-190024.jpg

20140206-190030.jpg
What turned out especially awesome is that Shawn had bought a cake the night before in anticipation of being snowed-in. So, we invited all the kids in for an impromptu birthday celebration. Tyler was thrilled as you can see on his face in the pictures. This just proves that you really do not need to go all out to make your kids feel special and appreciated. Cake and ice cream…perfection!

20140206-190108.jpg
I let the kids play for a little bit and then it was time for Megan to get ready for tap class. We said our “good-byes” and got everyone dressed to go (hello, work-out!) and then we headed to the Y for Megan’s class. Shawn planned on taking Tyler to the family gym, which is just a big room full mats that the kids can run and jump around in. Poor guy was exhausted and fell asleep on the way over and never woke up.

It was a perfect day for a perfect kid. We will have one more celebration on Sunday. Tyler is my joy, my hope, my love, I hope he is always as cute and cuddly and sweet as he is right at this moment.