Real Pain

Today is the day my dad died four years ago.

And I am heartbroken.

Still.

With each passing year I think it will be easier, but it is not.

I am sad that my children will never know the love of their Grandfather.

I am bitter when I see other people with their dad.

I am angry that his doctor did not diagnose the cancer earlier.

I am haunted by the memory of him lying in hospice.

I still run his eulogy in my mind all the time and it hurts my heart.

My dad lived a wonderful life.

He is the most generous person I have ever met.

He loved his family.

He was a hard worker and a loving provider.

My dad was the greatest.

I am sad today.

Tomorrow I may appear not to be sad, but I still am.

I think the worst part is knowing no one knows my pain, because he was mine and no one can possibly feel what I feel.

I will never forget what I had and what I lost on this day in 2010

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Love you, dad, today and always.

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