Out and Not About

My back is out.

It started last night when I got up from the couch at my in-laws house.  I could feel it coming on for a couple weeks before then.  It really has nothing to do with my recent commitment to exercise and more to do with the changes in weather.  I have major arthritis in my back from a prior surgery I had about 11 years ago.

This happens every year…but it is still horrible!

Sitting…hurts

Standing…hurts

Laying down…hurts

Everything…hurts

It is definitely throwing a wrench in my goal to move more since I can barely get up, but that is the least of my worries at this point.

I am having a difficult time picking up and sitting up to feed Ryan.  This is my biggest issue since my husband works nights and I am the solo parent for those feedings.  Last night it was terrible trying to get him out of his crib and to sit and feed him.  He is such a smiley little guy that I tried to use his smile to push through the pain.  I was praying all night that it would feel better in the morning, but, alas, it does not.

I am hoping it will be better today.

I have tried every remedy in the book from therapy to drugs but nothing seems to help.  It is just something I have to ride out and hopefully it will go away in the coming days.

Life is going to be a little slower, a little harder and a little more burdensome in the next few days. I am going to have to learn to ask for help and to take my time.

I would not wish this issue on my worst enemy, but I also know that if this is the worst thing that will happen to me this week I am pretty well-off.

Throw-Back...this week last year, Ty and the mac and cheese got into a fight and the mac and cheese won!

Throw-Back…this week last year, Ty and the mac and cheese got into a fight and the mac and cheese won!

Advertisements

Make a Change Monday #3

In the spirit of transparency, this has been a mentally challenging week. I had a lot going on personally, little sleep on most nights and tons of work during the day. I am proud to say that this week only made me stronger and more determined. Even during weight loss and the struggles that comes with it, I am trying to live a joyful existence ( I guess you could say joyful is my “word” for 2015), I took all of my challenges in stride and let nothing turn into an excuse to wallow or be lazy or to skip out on my responsibilities to myself and to my health.

I kicked butt and I am happy about it.

After being a bit disappointed the week before, I wanted to make this week count and I wanted to see a big number on the scale. I stayed well within my calorie goal, I exercised everyday, and I got in at least 12,000 steps a day.

I kicked butt…I know, I already said that!

Here are my stats for this week:

Weight Loss: -6
January Goal: -12
# Away from goal: -1 (technically, .2)
Reward: Gel Manicure

In the upcoming week I am going to concentrate on the same things as I did this week…water, movement, and good choices. It is also the last week of my diet bet, so I need to lose that last pound or I don’t get my money back. That, my friends, is motivation enough for me!

Who is with me this week????

20150125-210624.jpg It’s also my favorite week of the year, but I will talk more about that in the coming days

My Homily

I spoke at church this morning.

It was humbling to stand in front of the children and teachers in my school and pour my heart out.  I cried a little.  I didn’t mean to, but the subject of life is a very personal on to me.  I started out with this….

Today we celebrate life.  As you sit here in church, there are close to a million people, both young and old, arriving in Washington DC to celebrate the life that God has given them and praying that all life will be considered sacred from the moment of conception until ones last breath on earth. 

I am Pro-Life and proud of it. 

I believe that all life is created by God and for God at the moment of conception until a person’s last natural breathe.  I know that every person is fearfully and wonderfully made by God.  Each time I delivered one of my children I saw life in its purest form.  God’s presence was felt when the doctor placed my babies into my arms. In my children’s eyes I have seen God.  I have also seen the end of life, when I stood in the room as my father closed his eyes and was placed spiritually in the arms of our Lord. I felt God’s presence in the smoothness of his hand that day.

Yes, all life is precious…no matter if the life is living in its mother’s womb, a day old, 5 years old, thirty years old or even 100 years old.   But choosing life is not always about the beginning and the end…in fact, it is the middle that I feel counts the most.

I went on to talk about how I choose life every day by treating people with respect and dignity.  I also spoke about how God can transform each of us into “Soldiers for Christ” to not only defend our faith but defend people who might be marginalized in our society.

Things went well.  I am happy with the point I was trying to make and think everyone in the church could relate to what I was saying.

Now I am completely emotionally drained.  I have a headache and my back hurts and I just feel so run down.

It has been a long week and I am happy tomorrow is FRIDAY!

Writing a Homily and Other Life Things

Here is a little about my life in list form…because I love lists:

#1

Tomorrow I will be giving the Homily at our weekly school liturgy. I have done this many times before. Today I have writers block. Ugh! It stinks because I have a lot to say on the subject of choosing life but I have no words.I am hoping something will come to me in the next 24 hours or I will be standing at the ambo with 1400 eyes staring at me with nothing to say.

#2

Last night Ryan slept from 8:45 pm-6:45 am. This is the longest stretch of sleep he has ever had. I am not saying this to brag, I am saying it because it might never happen again and I want to celebrate the small victories! YAY Ryan, YAY sleep.

#3

When I put something in the crock pot in the morning I am super excited that I will have dinner ready when I get home. However, when I get home the thought of actually eating the food grosses me out. Fail.

#4

When I don’t get a good parking spot at the gym I sometimes want to turn around and leave. Weird because I am going to the gym to exercise but I do not want to make the extra effort to walk in the parking lot. #thestruggleisreal

#5

Tyler is turning 4 in a couple of weeks and I am so sad about it. Time is fleeting, you know? It just seems like the last four years have gone by way too quickly.

Here’e to making it a great day!

#6

Pictures!

20150121-185942.jpg

20150121-190004.jpg

20150121-190021.jpg

Make a Change Monday #2

The second week let-down is all I can say. Week #2 always seems to be the most difficult for me to stay in track. It didn’t help that I was sitting at work almost the entire week since I had guest speakers in.

While it wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t great either. While I made some good choices and I did make it to the gym 5/7 days, my effort was not stellar on either front. I know I can do better, I am already starting this week off better.

Oh, and water, I absolutely need to be more diligent with drinking water. I will be bloated this week (hello, Aunt Flo) so I need to counteract this by hydrating, hydrating, hydrating!

Here’s to a better week!

Here are my stats for this week:

Weight Loss: -.4
January Goal: -12
# Away from goal: -6
Reward: Gel Manicure

On Sleep

With a newborn, I feel like all I ever talk about it sleep…How much sleep I am getting, how much sleep I am not getting, how much sleep I want to get, et al.

It really takes over my life.

It makes doing anything else so much more difficult.  I want to work out and eat healthy and be healthy…but the sleep factor is no joke.

Megan and Tyler are not good sleepers.

At five years old, Megan is finally sleeping through the night in her own bed on most days.  She was a horrible sleeper and napper as an infant and toddler.  She wanted to be held all the time and we held her all the time because she was our only one and we loved it.

When Tyler came along we had two babies under two years old so I was determined that he would be a good sleeper.  He napped in his bed, slept through the night from his first week of life and was over-all the picture perfect baby…Until we took his crib rail down and all hell broke loose.  He has not slept a full night in his bed since. Ugh.

I am trying my best to make Ryan into a great sleeper.  I am following all of the rules and I have even read a few books about the subject.  It is a work in progress and when he only wakes up once a night I am super excited.  I refuse to hold him while he sleeps and I am putting him in the bed drowsy by not asleep.  Our bedtime ritual does not change from night to night.  I am swaddling him.  I am feeding him plenty of food.  He has a lovey.  HOWEVER…he cries and cries and cries.  I cannot let him “cry it out” because he will cry forever.  I am terrible at it.

Last night I was so tired and I just couldn’t take it anymore.  When he woke up at one I gave him a little snack (20 minute nursing session) and then put him back down.  He started to cry and I closed the door and went back to bed and prayed.  He cried for 96 seconds (yes, I timed it) and then slept the rest of the night.

I am thrilled…but I realize this might not be a repeated thing.  I pray that it is, but I am realistic.  Very realistic.

Sleep is no joke…I can see why governments torture people with sleep deprivation.

By the way…my photos are not working, hence, no picture.
Annoying.

Make A Change Monday #1

I lost my Fitbit this morning. I know I had it on for a while because we had a 90 minute delay so I was running around the house doing laundry, emptying the dishwasher, putting away clothes, and picking up toys. By the time I left the house I had 2,400 steps (I checked on my phone). I have to believe it fell of when I was getting the kids ready to get in the car. I have an irrational fear that it is gone forever. In the short time that I have had it I have sort of become obsessed with it…and I will have to replace it if it is lost…and I am totally cheap, so that will break my heart. I hope it is just lying on the floor right in front of the door when I get home. That would make me so happy.

I have decided to report on my weight-loss goals and activities every Monday because I am going to weigh-in on Sunday morning. I am going to call this post “Make a Change Monday” and this will be a place where I can see my progress and/or set-backs. If anyone out there reads this blog (BethJ) and has a blog and would like to join in the fun, feel free to use the same title and then comment so I know you are doing in and I can follow you also!

So here I go…

I actually had a great first week. In my experiences first weeks are always the best weeks because I can always stay pumped for a week. It is week #2 that makes me nervous. In terms of good first weeks, this is the best one I have had in a long time. Not that it was easy by any means, but it was tolerable. I find that I have to really PLAN well in order to have a good week. I am not going to use having children as a crutch, but I will say that the kid factor makes everything just a little more tricky.

I stayed within my calorie range which is always difficult for me, but I did it. I was very proud of this! I really stuck to a meal plan and followed it pretty closely. If you saw my breakfasts, lunches or dinners you might not even think I am dieting. I ate delicious food and I planned full meals and snacks so I had a lot of choices. This is something I always mess up in the beginning. I try and control too much and then I want to eat ALL THE FOOD. So this time I did not deprive myself; I did, however, give myself a lot of portion controlled items so I had a choice of what I wanted and if I wanted everything for lunch instead of saving something for an afternoon snack, so be it! This plan worked great for me. Even when I came home from the gym and was starving, I planned a snack to tide me over while I made dinner.

As far as exercise goes, I absolutely nailed it. I made it to the gym 6/7 days even in sub-zero temperatures with three kids in toe. I am also very proud of myself for that.

I am going to have month by month goals for now because I have no idea at this point where I want to be. Oh, and I know the first week is always a big loss but I am happy with it nonetheless!

Here are my stats for this week:

Weight Loss: -6.4
January Goal: -12
# Away from goal: -5.4
Reward: Gel Manicure