Make a Change Monday #4

This week has been hard-fought.  As I wrote last Tuesday, my back went completely out on Monday and was out all week.  I was not able to go to the gym or basically walk without pain all week.  I am still feeling the affects of it today.  If I move wrong, I feel like I am on the verge of it going out again.  Back pain is absolutely no joke.  It sucks, actually.

I am a very scheduled person.  I like things to be done a certain way in a certain time frame.  When my schedule is shifted even a little bit my anxiety flares up and my attitude becomes one of doom and gloom.  So when I hurt my back I started to think that things were awful and there would be no way I could meet my goals and I should just stop trying. But then I picked my mood back up and decided to just try and eat well for the week and see where it takes me.  I had less than a 1/2 pound to lose, so I figured it would be worth a try.

My movement was way down and I was trying to eat well but there was also a lot of distractions during the week…a teacher luncheon, cake on a couple of days, and, of course the Super Bowl party last night.

I am proud to say, “I DID IT!”  In fact, I actually lost more than my goal for the month.  I am happy about this.  When I look back at the month, I had a lot of ups and downs, but mostly it was good.  I re-trained my brain to realize that food is not the end-all-be-all of life.  I can say no to certain indulgences and be okay with it.  I also can yes to some things as long as I am reasonable about it.

Losing weight is definitely a mental game.  It involves a lot of toughness and perseverance.  Exercising adds another dimension to it.  I actually love going to the gym and having certified “ME” time everyday.  My work-outs are difficult, but the hardest part is scheduling the rest of my life.  Making a commitment to the gym means not having the laundry done all the time, it means eating dinner a bit later than normal, it means having less time to actually spend with my children during the week.  But, the benefits definitely outweigh the downfalls…I am teaching my children a healthy habit, we have played a lot more this month then we have in a while.  I make it a point to hang out with them on the indoor soccer field or the climbing wall.  My kids know this is what we do and why we do it; mommy wants to be healthy and being healthy makes all if us happy.

I feel better about myself so I am becoming a better wife and mother.

It isn’t all happiness all the time, though.  I actually LOVE food and I LOVE eating…so it is hard to manage not being able to eat what I want when I want.  The struggle is real for me.  This is a lifestyle change that is going to need constant tweaking for a long time .  I have lost a lot of weight before and I know how easy it is to gain it back.  Realizing that this is my life is sometimes a hard pill to swallow.

But, alas, it is time for the good stuff…

Here are my stats for this week:

Weight Loss: -.8
January Goal: -12
# Away from goal: -12.6
Reward: Gel Manicure

So, I earned a gel manicure, which I am thrilled about it.  Don’t know when I will do it, but I am looking forward to it.  I will be back this week with some goals for February.


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