I have a problem.
4 years, 4 months, and 8 days after the fact I am still totally and completely haunted by the death of my dad.
I just can’t believe it happened.
I miss him terribly.
I miss his daily phone calls, his sound advice, his quirky personality.
I miss his mustache, his perfectly-straight-never-needed-braces teeth, his running legs, his voice.
I will never be loved by anyone as much as he loved me.
I feel so alone in this grief.
No one understands because he was mine. Our relationship was so sweet and pure and awesome. I talked to him every day (sometimes two or three times a day) for my entire life. There is a void every day when I am waiting for a phone call that will never come.
At lunch yesterday many people were talking about the death of a loved one. It was so sad that so many of us have lost a parent. I couldn’t even speak because I was so over-whelmed and devastated with grief.
I am wrecked.
Ryan looks exactly like him. When I look into his eyes I see my dad. It is both a blessing and a curse…so happy, yet so, so sad.
The Dennis Shephard look, spot on.
Just had to get it out today…