A Day for Us

Megan’s Mothers Day Tea was this morning and it was completely bittersweet. My girl is growing up and this is the beginning of the end of her toddler years. She will be starting kindergarten in the fall and will officially be one of the big kids.

in front if the picture of mommy she made


My first baby is no longer a baby and as I am moving into this new phase of motherhood I cannot help but smile through some tears. Life does move so quickly and I can’t wrap my head   around what a sweet, lovely, caring, sensitive, kind little lady she is. I am forever blessed with her.  
  
I am beyond lucky to have this time with Megan. I was so proud of her today. Being her mom is one of my greatest accomplishments in life.

  

Happy This Week

I feel like I look at everything so doom and gloom lately and I have no idea why.  My life is so awesome!

I am stealing from one of my favorite bloggers this week to tell you all the things that are making me happy!


Exercise and eating right have been a top priority this week and you know what? I feel a million times better physically and it has given me a major mental boost!


Date night tonight.  Yes! We have passed the kids off to different family members and will be going on a double date with a fun (new to me) couple.  I might even have a drink (CRAZY!!!)


Open-toed shoes.  I love me a flip flop and once spring break is over I bust out all of my cute summery shoes.


Manicures.  I have been treating myself (with Gift Cards) to manicures about every three weeks for the past few months and I love it!  They lift my mood and make me feel so pretty.


Baseball and soccer season has started.  While this is somewhat stressful for me, I love watching my kids grow and play and achieve in physical activities. 


Megan had kindergarten testing this week and she will be with me at school next year.  So fun!


Tyler is hilarious, even when he is being a stinker.  This week he told me, “Tyler is my name, climbing is my game.” Where does he get that from?????


Baby Ryan makes me happy all the time.  He is, seriously, the happiness, most content baby I know.  His smile and laugh is totally contagious!

   

   

Question of the Day

What do you do with all the Easter candy you have left over in your house?

We are blessed with a lot of family who love our kids more then life itself.  With that, every holiday is a “mini-Christmas” for them.  It is awesome and generous and amazing.  It is also over-whelming and crazy and insane.

TWELVE Easter baskets floated through our house…three from the Easter bunny (us), six from the grandparents on both sides of the family and three from a favorite aunt.  My brother decided give gift cards to Target this year which was a blessing.

Believe me, I appreciate everything!  The kids god awesome swim suits, new clothes and shoes, and a lot of fun outdoor play things (especially BUBBLES, my favorite!)

But the candy, oh the candy.  We have so much that I gave a gallon bag full of it to a family in need and we still have a ton sitting around.  Not good for me or for anyone in our family.

So, what do you do with all the candy???

A New Day

I am back.

Between Easter and Spring Break (spring cleaning, really) and some not so stellar days…

I am back.

I have realized over the last couple of weeks as I have been tracking my food and my behaviors and talking to a great friend that I am an addict.

A food addict.

I have a chemical dependency for sweet food and salty food and all food, really.  Once I start munching on something, I have a hard time stopping and when I feel like I need to “sneak” food or like I am not going to have enough food (which is really like never, but in my head it is all the time) I try and eat as much as I can and hoard food and binge.

It is awful.  It is something I am going to have to deal with and be aware of for the rest of my life.

Some days I am strong and some days I am weak and some days I am fine on my own and some days I need help.  It is just the facts of life.

Since last Wednesday I have been preparing myself to get back on track.  I have been working on seeing where the downfalls and binges are happening and become more aware of my feelings when such instances occur.

When I have a schedule that I can stick to normally I am fine.  When I come in with a plan and follow the plan accordingly, I feel in-control and it makes me feel calm and sane and like “I can do this!” But when the plan falls short or things change (which is like, all the time) my mind does crazy things.

Like lunch, for instance…if I make a good and healthy lunch and I eat it in my classroom I am fine and totally satisfied. However, if I enter the Faculty Room and there is any type of snack sitting on the table it is over.  I want it all!!!!!  This happened today and I literally had to give myself a silent pep-talk in order to get out of there.  I am proud of myself for that.

I am doing a little junk food “cleanse” of sorts for the next few weeks.  I have already noticed that chips and cookies are major trigger foods for me.  I have also noticed how much of that unhealthy food is in my home and just sitting there…it is really kind of sickening.

I have also been listening to the “Half-Size Me” podcast.  My BBF introduced it to me and I am in love! It is like therapy knowing that there are so many other people how have the same struggle.  I have to believe that a spark has been lit in me and I am ready to get this weight off once and for all.

I don’t have a goal right now of where I want to be.  I know where I have always felt most comfortable, and I would like to get back there someday.  For now, I would like to see the scale move down slowly and consistently.  Would I like to lose 50 pounds by the summer?  Of course!  Is that realistic? NO!  SO I just want to see the scale go down.  That’s all.

So here I am, starting over.

Again.

I refuse to get depressed about it.  I just need to move forward.

Today is a new day.