The Struggle is Real

Dieting is torture.

It is pure and utter bullshit.

And to think I have to do this for the rest of my life is enough to push me right over the edge.

You can sugar-coat dieting by saying it is a “lifestyle change” or you are “developing healthy habits” or you are trying to eat “Whole foods” but any way you put it, for me, it is a diet.

A diet I will be on until the day that I die.

You see, I don’t crave salads or beets or granola or whole wheat or eating light or Greek yogurt.

I enjoy eating in bulk and ice cream and fried foods and Chinese and snacks and cookies and ALL THE JUNK ALL THE TIME.

I think part of the issue I am having with losing weight this time is I just do not want to have to do it.  I don’t want to give up all of those things that I truly enjoy.  I know, nothing tastes as good as thin feels…but in the moment, the food does taste REALLY GOOD and the guilt I feel isn’t THAT BAD and I can justify and justify and justify my way up the scale.

You lose and gain weight one bite at a time.

I can have a really good day and eat well and exercise…but one slip can send me into a downward spiral that might take me days or even weeks to pick myself back up and get on the diet-train again.

Maybe I am complaining a bit.  Maybe I am a “Debbie Downer.”

But this is life.  This is my reality.

And it sucks.

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